‘Trust Me’ – Dallas Episode 3, Season 2

So here we go …

Ah, so Sue Ellen is using Bum’s services now. To spy on her own son. Would make sense that she would assume the mantle of J.R. She’s got the chops.

And, she’s got a bit of a substance abuse problem, that could be a bother.

Ryland is out of jail and back at home – in a t shirt and very angry. He knows daughter Emma double-crossed him. Threatens her with a “secure therapeutic facility,” she backs down on the Arctic ships deal.

John Ross is also using Bum’s services. How much does Bum clear in an average year?

Emma has bunny boiler written all over her.

Did they have to include a Duck Dynasty reference?

Oh geez, the poor Sheriff Derek is back. Does he just live on South Fork? Had to come to tell Bobby that Ryland is out of jail.

Where do Christopher and John Ross get their suits?

“I’m sweet, but I’m far from innocent.” This is on the job description for secretaries at Ewing Global.

Of course, invite your new Mexican nemesis quasi-partner  (Nicolas/Joaquin) to a BBQ at South Fork. Ooh, he’s talking all socialist talk with Elena now about her Mama.

Ah, John Ross, a good old fashioned bribe attempt to a seismologist. Let’s see how this works out. Bobby has commissioned a shale study (or something or other) and John Ross wants to make sure the results come out in her favor.

I like how Pamela bitches at John Ross that he didn’t come home to pick out centerpieces for the wedding. This marriage s**t is getting real.

Pamela has supreme bunny boiler written all over her – John Ross may have met his match.

Oh, here comes bearded Christopher’s new love interest. She is Feisty with a capital F. Fiery. She tells Christopher off, he tells her she’s cute. He says “do you like BBQ?” She answers “who doesn’t?”

Christopher has NO GAME.

Elena tells her Mamasita the whole Joaquin-Nicolas thing. She rightly questions Elena’s judgment for getting in bed (so to speak) with Cliff.

But why would she let her secrets slip in a busy kitchen. Isn’t there any private place anywhere in the entirety of Collin county?

Why would Ryland have a photo of his ex wife on display, a woman who he despised and kidnapped their child and let her believe the child was gone forever.

Goddamn I thought Judith Light was dead. Way to make a comeback, evil grandma. Way to bust her out of the ‘secure facility,’ evil granddaughter Emma.

She takes Ryland Transpo back, tells baldie evil son that she knows he pushed her down the stairs and had her sedated …

“Money and morality are like two cars on a one lane road. When they meet, morality is going to end up in a ditch.” Judith Light line of the night.

Judith Light says she ‘made her bones dealing with psychopaths and criminals while you were still using your Easy Bake oven.” Pretty sure she’s talking about Tony Danza and Who’s the Boss.

I think she’s a great choice to deal with the crazy Mexican drug lords, I mean she can go mano a mano crazy. Cabeza a cabeza.

This show has some exceptionally strong female characters. Too bad they are all devious and criminal in their own way – but at least it’s equality with all the devious and criminal male characters.

The ‘purest’ character must be Christopher, and not coincidentally he is also the most boring.

Why are the Ewings having a BBQ? Whatever the occasion, John Ross is flirting with anyone in a skirt. Or tight jeans. He’s plaing with fire. And women who are not afraid to commit arson.

Who is Bum loyal to? He lied to Sue Ellen and said John Ross wasn’t messing around with Emma. Huh.

Feisty cattle broad is very sure of herself. Shows up in a tiny white dress and forces Ewing heir apparent Christopher to do the two step with her.

John Ross is flirting his douche head off, so his wife of course has to invite Nicolas- Joaquin to do the two-step. Which is apparently like the Lambada. With dipping.

Geeky seismologist tells Bobby the truth about John Ross’s attempted bribe. Bobby tells him to keep the money – win win.

Maybe Christopher is growing some manhood, he offers Nicolas- Joaquin a deal to stop the Cliff Barnes business. Naturally, talk turns to who Elena might be dating.

Nice Samsung Galaxy placement. And Miller Lite placement.

Ok, so no one notices Carmen hugging Nicolas-Joaquin … suddenly there is privacy at South Fork?

Ah, she dropped the “you’re fighting the dark side” thing – it’s getting all Stars Warsy up in here.

Another strong female character not to be messed with, she threatens Nicolas-Joaquin to not lead her children aside. It’s kind of late for that, but maybe we should just turn over the reins to Carmen? She and Sue Ellen could clean up, leading Ewing Global. Add Judith Light to the mix. Just let the boys go play with cars and cows. Ann could hang out, she might have something to offer from time to time. Emma and Pamela can fall in love and move to Hollywood.

Elena should go eat a sandwich.

Feisty beeyotch just planted a big smooch on Christopher, in the middle of the BBQ. She says “I’m direct.: uh, Yeahhh. He doesn’t know what hit him. Elena who?

Naturally in the middle of a BBQ (for no apparent reason) the seismic results must be reviewed. Intriguingly, the seismy guy says John Ross has the rights to frack.

“I’m fracking South Fork.” I wish I made up that line, but John Ross actually said it.

Nice Dell placement.

Nice placement of Nicolas-Joaquin in a sweaty tank top.

Bum confronts John Ross with the pictures of Emma straddling him. Says JR asked him to keep an eye on him. He doesn’t mention that Sue Ellen hired him too.

“Grow into your father’s greatness, not his weakness,” says Bum. Take a cue from the strong women all around you!

Judith’s character’s name is Judith. Easy for me to remember. The drug lord immediately begins dissing her. Watch yourself, mijito.

Hmmmm, now she’s getting him to feel her up. Er, pat her down.

Is this supposed to be a sexy moment?

Ok, back to business.

And she’s renegotiated the terms of the deal the dealers had with Baldie Harris . [Who I think I’ve been calling Harlan for a while now. ] Nice!

Oh and she wants to do some lines, too.

Good thing there is always a teenage boy standing by with a gold box full of cocaine.

Hot damn indeed!

Dealer threatens Emma, neither Harris nor Judith bat an eye.

And it turns out HE [Harris] was wearing a wire. Hmmm.

A call from a Senator late at night, that can’t be good.

Bobby and Ann set out in their car, and are stopped by two goons. Taken to a dark barn type structure. Very dramatic lighting.

It’s the CIA – !!! Harris is working for them. Has been for 4 years. WHAT?

Something about Mexican commandos trying to overthrow the government. Oh great so now Ann and Emma are in danger. Not convinced that I wouldn’t donate them in favor of a truce.

Well that hour flew by.

But what I really want to know is, when is Victoria Principal coming back??






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